Meeting the Demands of a Child with Pervasive Developmental Disorder
Jemila has been a patient of ours for five years, well before her son, Malik, came under our care for PDD (Pervasive Developmental Disorder). We have also treated her daughter for the past four years. Over the course of our therapeutic relationship, we have come to know Jemila very well. She will be the first to agree that homeopathic treatment has provided a much needed support for her during an especially challenging period.
Jemila devoted herself wholeheartedly to seeking out services for her son, Malik. As parents of ASD children are keenly aware, this can be a full-time endeavor. The family’s limited finances made researching available resources even more compelling. Jemila’s determination to leave no stone unturned in finding help for Malik placed quite a strain on the family, often leaving her daughter’s and husband’s needs unmet.
Jemila found the tremendous effort required for parenting a special-needs child to be exhausting—so exhausting that she began to “turn off” pain of any kind, physical or emotional. Jemila hit a low point. Everything in her life had become an ordeal. She was filled with a desire to escape, give up, to leave it all behind. Malik’s needs, and those of her daughter, the marriage, everything—life all seemed too much to handle. Although Malik was progressing remarkably with the homeopathic treatment, the pressures of meeting his needs was taxing beyond belief. Doing it all, with no extended family to help was simply too much.
“I no longer feel. My ability to feel is totally buried. I’m fighting for my son, my daughter, and me. The only way I can do that is to avoid listening to my own feelings. They slow me down. Just one more thing I have to handle. All my attention is focused on what I can do now to make things better for myself and my family. Considering what I’m dealing with, things have been going relatively well. Many other people would have lost it, and I have my moments of wondering if I will, too.”
We asked Jemila to describe the feeling in her body that accompanied the recurrent boils: “It’s like a needle getting poked into you—so sensitive. The pain can be so intense it’s paralyzing. A sudden shock. Like when you slam your finger in a door.” She likened this feeling to how she felt during her father’s raging outbursts:
“That would paralyze me. Seeing how sensitive and tender my daughter is shows me exactly how I was. When he blew up, it would shake my world. Paralyze me. I would not be able to think or move. The same is happening now in dealing with my son. You never know when he’ll have an outburst. Not knowing when this boil is going to erupt. It’s a metal paralysis. I just can’t think. The whole functioning of my brain is disorganized.”
These descriptions depicted her state of burnout and stagnancy, and the nearly superhuman effort needed to cope in her situation. We changed Jemila’s homeopathic medicine to Helleborus (black hellebore). A member of the buttercup family, it is used for individuals whose senses have been dulled to the extreme. This “shutting down” can be a coping mechanism; the person simply cannot handle the degree of sensitivity. A type of indifference or, as Jemila described her state, “numbness,” results.
A Huge Difference
Jemila’s six-week report was very positive: “I totally see a difference. My emotions are way more stable. I see now that there was a heavy, dark cloud looming over me that affected my thinking. The cloud has lifted. I’m more efficient in everything I do. Before, it took a huge effort to accomplish even daily tasks. It actually hurt to think. Even to sit down and plan a week’s menu was painful. I was feeling so burnt out. Now I don’t feel that way. My energy level is dramatically improved. My husband and I are doing much better together.”
Four months later, Jemila shared, “I was able to get four months of respite care for Malik, but it’s ending. We just finished a four-day assessment with him in another state. I have him on the simple-carbohydrate diet, so I need to cook everything ahead for the whole week. It is very stressful. A couple of days after we came back, I got a boil for the first time in six months. Other than that, my mental, emotional state has been stable. I feel strong and am taking things one step at a time. I’m doing so much better with handling life mentally and emotionally. When there are misunderstandings, it doesn’t affect me in the way it did before. A lot of parents of special needs kids are on antidepressants. I think the only reason I’m not is because of the homeopathy.”
We gave Jemila another dose of the Helleborus. Life, though immensely challenging, continues to be manageable for Jemila despite coping with her son’s constant needs, the loss of her therapist, and her husband’s entry into graduate school. Given the excessive demands with which she is dealing on an ongoing basis, she will need the support of homeopathy for some time.
If you recognise the feelings Jemila described and need some support, get in touch, we’re looking forward to helping you regain vitality, hope, and strength (physical, mental, and emotional) so that you can better serve yourself and your family!
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